Costa Caribe

So, after the magic of the Pacific Coast, I was back in Medellin with, yet again, no fucking clue where I wanted to go next. Seriously this whole making decisions business is tough, especially when you’re in a country with so many amazing places to enjoy; it often feels like for every choice you make, you’re sacrificing an opportunity to go to some other amazing place in the opposite direction. So really, why not just roll the dice? You can’t lose. Timmy is headed north to Santa Marta so I follow.

I arrive at the hostel in Santa Marta, and it’s hot AF up here on the Caribbean Coast. Happy hour has started, which means 2for1 cocktails and the dude behind the bar has a particularly loose wrist, which means I proceed to get maggot… to the point where I’m doing karaoke for free shots… more than once… not a pretty sight that’s for sure. In our drunken wisdom, we decide that the most important thing we need to do in the morning before hiking into Parque Tayrona, is to buy some rum and smuggle it in. Glad we have our priorities in check.

So, fast forward to the next morning, we’re a little dehydrated, I’ve popped my last two nurofens to try and cure my “hangover”, to say that little thought was put into packing our overnight bags, would be a massive understatement, and we are departing in the heat of the day, instead of early, as planned, to make sure we can really sweat it out in this humid-can-cut-the-air-with-a-knife climate.

The ATM near the bus stop isn’t working and so we count the cash we have between us 3 times, decide that we have enough, and proceed to buy rum and any other ‘essential’ items, using said cash. So after a 2.5 hour hike in the sweltering heat, we arrive at Playa Cabo San Juan Del where we’ll be camping for the night. Between us we have 2 bottles of rum, 2 bananas, less than 1L of water and 50mil pesos (approx $25 AUD).

We’re standing at the restaurant menu trying to work out how we can make this $25 stretch to cover dinner, breakfast, lunch, water etc etc… it’s impossible. Thankfully we meet a couple of Canadians who take up our offer of switching some USD for some pesos which we calculate would make the difference and allow us to eat. We then sink a bottle of rum and using our awesome math skills, we decide we have enough surplus for a couple of beers too. WINNING!

Turns out, that surplus was for water and lunch the next day; which we didn’t realise until we were thirsty and, yet again, had no cash. The Canadian’s had already left, so there goes our bank, and Timmy is cracking open coconuts to keep hydrated before the walk out later that day. I’m too lazy to go back to the hammock and get my sunscreen, so proceed to get burnt AF like every other Australian that goes abroad. Seems I’m just full of smart choices these days.

So Parque Tayrona - it seriously looks fake. Like where did all these massive boulders come from that are placed so expertly around the place? And then there are these rock barriers in the ocean that make the water at the beaches calmer. Well actually, we decided that those definitely were man-made. Because our math skills are so good, we’re sitting on the beach in the dark (post karaoke session) and Timmy is calculating the entrance cost, camping etc etc for the bundles of tourists here, and decides that they definitely have enough money to engineer some rock barriers around the bays to calm the waters down and make it safer to swim in.

Conspiracy theories aside, the place is beautiful, and, because of this, rammed with tourists. So for me, overnight was just right. Probably not the smartest, or well thought out hike I’ve ever done, but definitely one I’ll remember. Who knows… might even learn from my mistakes, but I doubt it!

After relaxing in the shade for a day (sunburn life), we scoot off to Minca to a beaut little hostel in the mountains; when the clouds clear you get an epic view of Santa Marta and the Sierra Nevada mountain range. Apparently the main ‘things to do’ here are to hike through the mountains to lookouts and waterfalls. Good thing all I packed was 2 dresses… Yet again not thinking things through… story of my life. Anyway so I look like a right fuckwit, sweating balls climbing up and down mountains… meanwhile normal people are in exercise gear. But then I recall I did the same thing in Greece - went hiking in a dress and connies. And in the NT I do it in thongs…. so what the hell.

We’re literally in the clouds here, so walking through the misty mountainside is pure MAGIC. We end up at a Finca and luck into a chocolate tour, complete with a chocolate face mask at the end… I’m now 6 years younger looking or something like that! Hopefully at the very least it has reversed some of the sun damage I’ve done in Tayrona!! As the sun started to set the clouds and mist cleared out and we’re treated to an EPIC sunset view from the hostel.

The next day we decide to hike up to the 360° view but we were too late and the clouds had come through already…. early bird gets the worm and all that. So it was a 360° view of pure white cloud. We hung around for a bit just in case the sun decided to burn up the clouds…. no such luck, but we did hear a troop of howler monkeys howling away from the trees. Afterward, we hiked down to Pozo Azul for a swim. It was absolutely rammed with Colombians, as it was yet again another public holiday (there are like 18 Mondays the Colombians enjoy every year!). I forgot to take any pics of any of this because…. sometimes I’m shit.

In an attempt to escape the hustle and bustle of the ‘touristy’ spots on the Caribbean Coast I decide to hit up Rincon Del Mar. It’s only a couple of hours south of Cartegena, but completely underrated. An authentic little fishing village with beaut sunsets, that warm Caribbean ocean and not a lot to do except relax. The whole place is basically one dirt street that follows the coastline. The local’s houses face onto the beach, restaurants are often just a table and chairs out the front of someone’s house, and there are usually no menus; you just get what is available on the day. When the ‘restaurants’ close and you want a beer you just need to know who’s door to knock on and they’ll sell you whatever you need from their stash in their lounge room fridge.

The vibe here is super chill, and also the exact opposite at the same time. Hard to describe but I’ll give it a whirl. Imagine the calm Caribbean ocean lapping quietly on the shore, kids playing in the ocean, fishing along the shore, playing in the street, pigs and chickens walking around freely on the beach, people relaxing on chairs under a tree, either on the beach or street in front of the house, playing dominoes or cards. And then, huge MF speakers that belong on a stage blaring Reggaetón at like 120 decibels, sometimes with a kid laying across the top of the speakers. If you’re lucky you can get 2 different sets from 2 houses blending into one mix as you walk between them; it’s absolutely mad but chill at the same time. But then, you continue another 50m along the beach and you’re back to hearing just the ocean lapping at the shore.

Great spot - spent 6 days here and turned into a sloth…. then I saw actual sloths so that was cool. One day I jumped in a boat headed to Isla Tintipán for a swim and some lunch. On the way we stopped off at Isla Santa Cruz De Islote (one of the most densely populated islands in the world). There’s no actual land… just concrete. It’s the size of two football fields, is home to over 1200 people, 18 families in 97 houses and only 6 surnames. It’s no wonder the kids here have plans to move off the island when they finish school. Also, do the math… 1200 people in 97 houses - thats over 12 people per house… WOW! People procreate here like there’s no tomorrow. I met so many locals with tonnes of siblings… like 20 - 30 siblings…. It’s absolutely CRAZY!

Tintipán is just as beautiful as the pictures, aqua water, but also completely rammed with tourists so after a swim and lunch it was back to the deserted waters of Rincon Del Mar for me, and time to decide my next move.

With just over a week left in Colombia, I really wanted to go somewhere a little off the beaten Colombian itinerary that most tourists do. My fave place in this country was, by far, the Pacific Coast in Choco; completely chill, wild beauty and not very touristy. The region of Choco extends to the Caribbean Coast and there are a couple of little pueblos there, accessible by boat; no cars; not many tourists; jungle to the sea; and apparently that aqua water that is so famous along this coastline.

The boat only goes to Capurganá once a day at 8am, so after spending a night in Necocli I finally arrive in Capurganá and get a motorboat to Sapzurro… home to about 350 people, and now, my home for the next 7 days. Sometimes I get nervous going to new locations… What if I’ve built them up in my head and reality doesn’t meet expectation? What if I get there and it’s just as touristy as everywhere else? What if it turns out to be like that review that I read from some other traveller whinging about how polluted and noisy it was and not worth the day and a half of travel to reach?

Turns out my fears are completely unfounded: this place is an actual paradise. No streets, just footpaths, limited produce (just the two tiendas that are not even big enough to walk into), empty beaches, lots of hammock time and the perfect place to cap off my time in Colombia. The hostel I’m staying in feels like home, it’s small, only houses 12 people plus the hosts, so you feel like a little family, pets included. It’s situated up in the hill above town so you have magical views of the aqua bay, you’re away from the light and music from town and so, can relax on the deck to watch the sunset over Panamá and, as night sets in, stargaze with the most delicious cuba libre in hand.

Speaking of Panamá, it’s only a 15 minute walk (up 300 stairs) to the border. And, another couple hundred stairs down the other side to Playa La Miel. I can’t recall ever having had the opportunity to walk to another country for a swim so I drag myself away from the convenience of the three amazing beaches within 10 minutes of me, and do the 30 minute hike to La Miel. “Border Control” was non existent on the Colombian side, and the guys for Panamá were shirtless and wearing thongs… very chill. The beach is pretty, but my fave hands down is Cabo Tiburon on the Colombian side.

It’s only now that I realise how bloody spoiled I am, preferring one paradise over another… 2 months in Colombia and I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface; you’d need at least another 3 months to do this country justice, but for now it’s time to say ciao, as I head to the airport bound for another paradise. Such is life!